| Having the Last Word |
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| Written by Douglas Pittman | |||||
Page 2 of 3 BELIEFS Beliefs are ideas that are perceived as reality. For example, “It can't be that the world could live in peace.” Or, “It can't be that everyone can have intimate relationships.” Or, “There isn't enough time in the day to do everything I want.” Because we have a belief does not mean that we think about or even verbalize it. Most beliefs are so ingrained in our thinking that we merely think from them and not about them. Beliefs are the 'stuff' of untruth. If what you believed was true, you wouldn't need a belief about it. Truth does not require a belief about it. A truth stands alone outside of what you believe or not believe. Truth can be directly experienced, and what you can directly experience requires no belief. You don't need a belief in gravity for gravity to exist. Gravity is. Beliefs aren’t. This is the consistent quality of our ‘stuff,’ it is based in nothing. Our daily thoughts and actions spring from the beliefs in what isn't. JUDGEMENTS Judgments are an artificial condition, in which, by conclusion of you, someone or something is seen as better or worse than you are. For example, "Rich people are mean." Or, "I'm a slow learner." The purpose of judgment is to make the mind right about what is believes. OPINIONS Opinions are thoughts held as absolutes. “I have a right to my opinions.” Yes you do! And opinions do nothing to affect a transformation in any condition that has persisted over time, or you have learned to put up with. Mostly, when someone is arguing for their right to have an opinion, they are dealing with some demons that have surfaced from beliefs about the unworthiness of themselves. Have some compassion for them instead of more opinions about them. That would be having your own 'stuff' being a bunch less serious to you and a stand for the relationship to work. If you want your relationships to work at the level of joy and satisfaction, and not just survival, then don't hold your opinions as the 'truth'. They are merely thoughts, and not absolutes. By all means speak your mind, or for that matter make it o.k. in your life to even yell out your opinions, just do it from context of validity and not the 'truth'. Remember, gravity is truth, your opinions are just 'stuff'. Powerful 'stuff', but still just 'stuff'. If you want to know how important your opinions are to the universe, wait for a clear night sky and go to the top of a hill and yell out your opinions to the stars. And then notice not one star moves for the sake of your opinion. POSITIONS Positions are defensive posturing designed by you to uphold and perpetuate all of your 'stuff'. For example, "I'm right and you are wrong." That is a position about you and others. Just picture someone standing with his or her fists clenched, slightly leaning forward, and waiting to deflect a blow. Positions can be manifested physically, emotionally, or mentally. Over time people can get physically locked into a position. People mold their own bodies. I've seen people that are chronically hunched over from the 'position' of holding up the world suddenly and miraculously stand up straight when they mentally and emotionally give up their 'position'. It starts with awareness. And all of this 'content of the mind', or 'stuff' conveniently makes the possessor of it right. If you think from the thought that all of this 'stuff' is somehow 'who you are', you are likely to be very unconscious about that fact that you have an insatiable need to be right. Thus, you will never have considered you are the thinker of the thoughts, not the thoughts themselves. Things will always seem to happen to you. You will act as though you were the center of the universe. You will need to defend your 'stuff' and act as though your 'stuff' is the only real 'stuff'. This is called being stuck in your 'stuff'. “My 'stuff is more important than your 'stuff'.” Your 'stuff' becomes heavy. My uncle once told me the greatest escape was our own escape from the center of the universe. You aren't any more your 'stuff' than you are your car. Lighten up about your 'stuff' before you make very real, as in a physical health problem. You are, on the other hand, responsible for your 'stuff'. The 'content of the mind', the 'stuff' of unreality, generates corresponding emotions or attitudes. We tend to experience emotions that are in direct alignment with whatever belief, opinion, or position is activated in response to circumstances. So, just outside of the 'content of the mind' is the emotional layer. For example, if you were to be thinking and acting unconsciously from a belief that you can't really trust people, and then someone didn't return your phone call you might feel hurt. And this feeling of hurt can easily become evidence for the validity of the belief that you can't trust in the first place. That person violated our trust. The reason you can't trust is because people will 'hurt' you. |
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