| Beyond The Power of Positive Thinking |
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| Written by CNN Larry King Live | ||||||||||
Page 4 of 8 I live in a $4.5 million mansion. I have a wife to die for. I get to vacation in all the fabulous spots of the world. I have climbed mountains. I have explored. I've been on safaris. And all of this happens and continues to happen because of knowing how to apply the secret. (END VIDEO CLIP) KING: We're back with our panel. The importance of learning to love yourself first, James, before you love anybody is that true? If you don't love yourself, you can't love anybody else? RAY: It's absolutely true, Larry. You see I travel all around the world and the whole concept of soul mate is often inherently flawed because it says that your completion or your better half resides outside yourself. Intellectually we know better than that. I mean your completion doesn't reside outside yourself. Your completion resides inside yourself. You will never, ever attract a perfect relationship with another human being into your life until you first and foremost have a perfect relationship with yourself. KING: Why, Jack, in life probably the hardest thing is maintaining a happy relationship? CANFIELD: Well because we tend to project the unexpressed parts of ourself, the unaccepted parts of ourself out onto the other person and we keep trying to get them to change so that we'll be happy. And really what the value of a relationship is, is to reflect back and mirror back to us the parts of ourself we haven't integrated love in order to express fully. So, if we learn that then we can create a great relationship so that when my wife, I, you know, "is making me angry," I really look inside and say "Well what is it about me that I'm rejecting in her that I need to clean up?" And if I can do that, then the relationship becomes a fabulous place to grow and a fabulous place for fulfillment. KING: Are you in trouble, Joe, if your emotional happiness is dependent on someone else? VITALE: Yes, absolutely. In fact, if you're trying to go beyond positive thinking, you're trying to manifest anything and you're sending out these negative energies about addiction, about obsession, about emotional need then that's what you're going to get more of and you will have a very fractured relationship that is not going to last. KING: Dr. Pratt, the importance of healing after a relationship ends before a new one starts. PRATT: Essential, people (INAUDIBLE). KING: Can't go from one to the other? PRATT: No. You need a little time to heal, to learn about yourself and understand what happened in the relationship. And, if you're having a problem with somebody unless there is some pretty other serious circumstances, there is a mirror there so those -- you have learned something about yourself in the process. KING: Why do people keep dating the same or being involved with the same kind of person that hurt him before? PAYNE: Yes, that's a good one because dealing with addictions, one of the biggest causes of relapse in addictions, by the way, is relationship issues. And, the bottom line is, is at the point of abandonment it begins a loss of our identity. And what happens is then we spend the rest of our time trying to look for that missing piece and we look for it in others. And the bottom line is it's not in others, it's in ourselves. KING: We have an audience question from Alexandra Goldman -- Alexandra. ALEXANDRA GOLDMAN: My question is how do you maintain a successful love relationship while growing as an individual when people so often grow apart? KING: James. RAY: Well, one of the things that I suggest you do is sit down with your mate and talk about where you're going and what's important to you in your relationship. Once you do that then you can take steps together to begin moving in that direction. KING: What about relationship addictions, doctor? PRATT: You can become addicted to anything. That's when you find some fulfillment or you get a release of dopamine or some other neuro chemical when you're around them. It creates a high. And that the absence of that puts you into a state of deprivation. KING: Joe, can you hypnotize yourself out of a bad relationship? VITALE: That's an interesting question. KING: Say you're in love, you're hung up and it's going nowhere and you want to get out but you can't get out. VITALE: Oh, you can always get out. Your hypnotized yourself into it actually. You know you're talking -- yes, so you absolutely did. You know I wrote this whole book, "The Attractor Factor." There's five steps on achieving whatever you want. But actually since I wrote it, I found that there's only this one step and this one step is, and I can't do it all the time, and I don't know anybody else that can do it all the time, but it cuts through the relationship. It breaks the trance. It fulfills a lot of things we need. Be happy in this moment. Be happy now. This is the point of power. Everything else is in the past or in the future. KING: Just ahead, positive thinking and your pocketbook. Find out how it can pay off financially when LARRY KING LIVE comes back. (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) VITALE: When I was in Dallas, and this would have been in the late '70s, I was virtually, I was not virtually, I was homeless for a short period of time. You don't ever want to be homeless for a single day but I was for a short period of time. But throughout it all, I was always maintaining my vision, my goal, my focus. I want to be an author. I want to write books. And I would say I would owe it all to the principles that are in the movie "The Secret," the principles I talk about in my books like "The Attractor Factor," and, of course, through never giving up, never giving up the dream, the desire, the hope, that vision and constantly going forward with it. Because you are the masterpiece of your own life, you are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David that you are sculpting is you. (END VIDEO CLIP) (COMMERCIAL BREAK)  (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP) |
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