Understanding the rewards of gratitude.
While talking with someone earlier this week, I was reminded of what an incredibly powerful tool saying "Thank You" is. Thank You for all the love and joy in your life as well as the unsavory appearances that seem to haunt you; because contrary to popular belief, the fastest way to make something disappear is to be grateful for it.
Quite frequently upon hearing this, most people become squearnish. "Why in the world would I want to be thankful for the crap that has happened to me?" Or, "How do you expect me to be thankful for what so-and-so did?" The answer is simple. Nothing happens to punish you—only to help you wake up from dysfunctional patterns and beliefs so you will learn to stand up for yourself. Therefore, if you are smart, you will choose to be thankful for the person or situation in question. The time has come to look into it, see what it is trying to show you and let it go. Why do you think uncomfortable stuff comes around again and again? That's no accident.
Unfortunately rather than looking into it, most people run from what they don't like or try to avoid it. I'm sure you've been there. Do you remember what happens? The problem tends to grow, get bigger and scarier. You find yourself running even harder and faster to escape. There is no peace around the situation and before you know it, more of them have cropped up. Your world becomes smaller and smaller, until you usually end up in a pit of depression. Has it ever dawned on you that it is your own consciousness (beliefs) that you are running from?
If that's not true, then how come no two individuals have exactly the same problem? Problems may be similar, but there is always a different slant to each individual's perception of an issue. Perceptions vary, so do the gravity of situ ations. What may bother you would never bother me and vise versa. Consequently, to quote noted author Joel Goldsmith, "Begin your spiritual life with the understanding that all conflict much be handled within your own consciousness."
In truth, everything must be dealt with from the inside out. Most people try to fix the exterior, where results are temporary at best. Permanent solutions will only come about by taking a good look into the consciousness that is experiencing the problem. Think about it, the way you were raised creates belief systems that then color your perceptlons as to how you see life.
Garbage in, garbage out! Your perceptions are always a direct result of your experiences. Peer into your own life and see if I am kidding.
Believe it or not, you are here to have fun! If you are not having fun, you are not paying attention. By learning to have gratitude for uncomfortable situations, you are opening the door to freedom. What is the gratitude for? For reminding you that you that somewhere in your life you bought into a nasty belief that is running you and you are finally willing to release it, not reinforce it. In essence, you are "thanking" this person or situation because it is serving as a CLUE to where you are emotionally stuck from some form of judgment. It will always be something you've done and judged yourself for, or something you would like to be able to do and will not give yourself permission to do.
Because the particular issue hits close to home, pinpointing it may be difficult. An objective person will generally be able to help you see into it. Remember, people or scenarios which punch your buttons are going to appear in an EXAGGERATED version of what it is you need to look at. Rather than running or blaming, why not opt for wisdom next time and see if you can figure out what is being shown to you. After all, it is only happening to free you. That’s the tough part to take in. It definitely takes courage to dive inside to see what kind of junk is milling around in there.
Now while we are on the subject, let me make it perfectly clear that this does not mean you don’t feel your feelings. Number one rule, feel your feelings and THEN apply your "thank yous." Once more, what are you saying "thank you" for? You are "thanking" this mess for reminding you of something that's stuck deep inside. Examples might be, "Thank you for reminding me that I need to love myself." "Thank you for reminding me that I am important." "Thank you for reminding me that lack is not my identity." "Thank you for reminding me that I can support myself." "Thank you for reminding me that the only one who can reject me, is me." "Thank you for reminding me that I am not a doormat." "Thank you for reminding me that I need to express myself." "Thank you for reminding me that I am worthy." "Thank vou for reminding me that I do deserve to be special." "Thank you for reminding me I am not here to be used." "Thank you for reminding me that I won't be controlled." "Thank you for reminding me that I am responsible for myself." "Thank you for reminding me that I need to be honest."
These suggestions are meant to support the innocence you knew, before junk was imprinted on your emotional screen. Your soul task is to acknowledge the beauty that hides behind the lies and that is why you are saying "Thank you." "Thank you" for helping me remember who I am. Not who I was taught to be. Thank you for reminding me how wonderful I am, despite what I've learned to accept to the contrary over the years.
Initially, you may find yourself saying “thank you” with gritted teeth. That's okay! It's mighty hard sometimes to do this exercise. Don't worry. It still works. It's the determination to break the spell that counts. While it seems next to impossible at first after a while comes easier (and paradoxically, things start to change.) This exercise seems so elementary most of you won't do it. Those of you who do will definitely experience the results. Truth is provable.
You have to do the work though. If you want to give yourself an invaluable long-lasting gift, one that keeps on giving for the rest of your life, start “thanking,” every situation or person that irritates you, pisses you off or hurts your feelings. It takes a lot of guts and true humility to risk letting go of grudges and victim-hood. Most assuredly, it's worth it. Try it for seven days and watch what happens. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
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written by Raven Dimitrowa , June 28, 2008
OUCH!! Yes the same crap keeps punching me in the gut. And yes, I know I should be grateful. I also know that a lot of my beliefs about myself were stuffed into my head by my mean and lean mother. Thank you. I have had many wakeup calls lately. The time has come. Thanks again Raven
